Look at this. Almost exactly one year on, and it’s like I’m living my life in stupid little circles. Somewhere, when trying to get my head round what freedom from a spirit of rejection meant, I think I got the wrong end of the stick. I’m wondering how many more times I can put myself through this, and how to get to that point where I don’t need to. I must have wasted hours rehearsing improbable scenarios in my head when all that’s likely is some kind of less endearing Holden McNeilesque explosion, in which all the things that logic dictates would be better left unsaid end up on the floor in a tangled knot of gibberish half sentences.